Sermons and Stories

It’s Hard to Deal with Money
The pastor of a church desperately short of money visited a dying member. The member asked, “If I give $500,000 to the church will it help me get into heaven?”
The pastor, who knows her theology and the state of the church budget paused, then replied, “Well, let’s put it this way. It wouldn’t hurt.”

Fiduciary
A young graduate came to a rural congregation as their first seminary-trained pastor. The people were proud of her sophistication and education. One Sunday she announced her sermon, “The Fiduciary Stewardship of the Royal Priesthood.” Afterwards, one member said, “Pastor, I don’t know exactly what you preached about, but it sounded like what our old pastor used to say when he lifted an offering.”

Money, Money, Money
Every time the man said the word “money,” he repeated it three times. He said to his wife, “Give me some money–money–money and I’ll buy some groceries.” His family suggested he consult a psychiatrist.
“You are uptight about money,” explained the psychiatrist. “Replace that fear with a stronger emotion. Every time you say the word “love,” repeat it three times. That will help you get over your problem with money.”
“What a terrific idea,” said the man. “If there’s anything I love–love–love, it’s money–money–money.”

Just Let Go!
He slipped off the edge of a cliff, hanging on for his life to a thick-rooted vine. He called out, “Is anybody there?’
Silence. Then a voice answered, “I am here.”
“Who are you?”
“I am God.”
“What should I do?”
“Let go,” God said.
Silence. He cried out again, “Is anybody else there?”
And the hardest thing to let go of is our money.

Trust the Lord, But Do Your Part Too!
A man was sitting in his house when it began to rain. It rained and rained, and the house began to flood. The water poured in and filled the first floor, so the man went to the second story. The water rose and filled the second floor, so the man went up to the roof. “Oh God,” he cried, “Save me from this flood.”
Soon, a helicopter came down and the pilot yelled for the man to jump in. “No,” the man said, “God will save me.”
Shortly thereafter, the water had reached the man’s waist. Another helicopter came near, and the pilot of this one yelled for the man to grab a rope ladder. “No,” the man said, “God will save me.”
When the water had reached the man’s neck, a rowboat floated by, and a young boy in the boat told the man to climb in. “No,” the man replied, “God will save me.”
The rowboat left and the man drowned. He got to heaven, and he said to God, “Lord, why didn’t you save me from the flood.” God answered, “What, are you kidding? I sent two helicopters and a boat!”